Prepare for birth
I once heard birth compared to a marathon. No athlete would arrive at a 26.2 mile race without training their bodies and mind for the physical exertion ahead. Instead, they would train for months, focusing holistically on what would be required to accomplish this noteworthy feat of strength. Entering motherhood is no different; one must prepare for birth. It is one of the most physically demanding challenges that you will ever face. Meeting your baby will force you to the limits of what you think you can endure and then demand you surpass them. It will be hard, it will hurt, and there will be a moment when you think you can’t go any further. But you will break through that pain and those physical limitations and know the sheer joy of holding the greatest prize of all— your baby!
When it comes to birth, plan for everything, and then be ready to let go of your plan.
First, I want to be clear: every woman’s priorities for birth will be different. There is plenty of “shaming” in motherhood, so much unsolicited advice about what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. In the early days of my pregnancy I was completely overwhelmed with the parameters of my new role. There were suddenly a million unspoken rules and expectations that I needed to acquaint myself with. It was exhausting.
I don’t write this post to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, only to share, from my experience, what empowered me to prepare for birth. As you read this list, hold on to things that stand out and throw everything else out the window. This is YOUR journey, be empowered to do it YOUR way!
10 Things I did to prepare for birth as a first time mom:
Dont have time to read now? PIN IT and come back later.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases with no additional cost to you. I only promote products I actually use that have added enormous value to my life and I hope they can do the same for you.
1. Choose your influences wisely
Everyone has a story about birth, but not all stories are helpful. On a particularly emotional day in my first trimester, I found myself subjected to a tragic story of a stillborn baby from an acquaintance who felt compelled to warn me of this outcome. Although her intentions were good, her “advice” sent me spinning into anxiety. That kind of “advice” is not helpful.
In our culture, everyone has an opinion, but opinions are cheap and tossed out casually to anyone scrolling through a Facebook feed. Guard what is most precious to you and be careful who you talk to about your plan to prepare for birth. Just because one woman had a bad experience doesn’t mean you will. As a first time mom, there are many unknowns to be afraid of. Don’t let fear steal your joy as you enter an incredibly beautiful phase of your life.
2. Become an expert
Knowledge is power. Birth is one of the most vulnerable moments of your life, and in the midst of it you want to be armed with information about the implications of each choice you will make throughout your labor and delivery. Much of what we see in the media isn’t true to what an actual birth experience can be like. The woman screaming on her back in agony as she glares at her husband and says “you did this to me!” doesn’t have to be your story. The misconceptions around birth are infinite, and it’s important to prepare for birth by understanding the way your body works with your baby to bring them into the world. Additionally, there are many ways to manage pain beyond the standard drugs that can lead to a cascade of interventions.
Become an expert in birth. No, you are not a doctor, but you are a woman. Women were birthing babies long before it was relegated to hospitals and people with MD’s. Birth is not a medical procedure, it is a naturally occurring physiological process that our body is designed for and capable of going through. Understanding this process will give you peace and keep you calm as you work with your body to bring your baby into your arms.
Some incredible resources that helped me understand birth were:
- Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
- The Thinking Woman’s Guide to A Better Birth by Henci Goer
3. Find a doula
While a doctor or midwife is responsible for the care of the mother and the baby during pregnancy & delivery, a doula’s only job is to give physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during, and after birth. Unlike doctors who are busy delivering many babies and don’t have time to stay with you for hours as we labor, a doula is with you every step of the way, a calming force amidst the waves of contractions. I tell every first time mom, get a doula! You will not regret it!
My doula offered three sessions before the birth where she came to my house and helped my husband and I prepare to bring our baby home. She walked through the nursery with me, coaching me on any last minute details I might have forgotten. She taught me how to bathe the baby, how we would care for the umbilical cord, and how to best keep the baby safe during sleep. Her presence gave us the last nudge of confidence that we were ready to be parents. A few days after the birth she came to my home to check on us and answer any questions we had.
Most importantly, my doula was an invaluable advocate for me during labor. From turning the lights low, diffusing essential oils and hanging my birth affirmations around the room to helping me move around, directing me to more comfortable positions and massaging my back. In addition, she gave space for my husband to help me and gently prompted him on how to best support me. As the pain intensified, she stepped in with more direct pain management solutions. My doula was a constant support to my husband and I, helping us understand where we were in the labor.
DONA International is a great place to start in understanding the role of a doula and getting connected to one in your area.
4. Get strong!
As I mentioned above, birth is one of the greatest physical challenges our bodies will ever go through. Like training for an olympic sport, we need to train our bodies and our minds for what is to come. An athlete doesn’t just show up and expect they’ll be able to perform. They know that if they’re going to push their bodies in competition, they’ve got to be pushing their body in training. Under the supervision of our doctor or midwife, as long as our health permits, we can strengthen our bodies in preparation for birth.
Keep Moving: Walking daily is a great way to keep our body limber and moving
Discover your pelvic floor: Don’t know what a pelvic floor is? It’s unfortunate that most women don’t understand where their pelvic floor is and how integral it is to the health of a woman. Birth is the perfect time to begin exercising this important muscle that is central to the birthing process. Check out these resources on pelvic floor health and exercise, there are simple breathing and movement exercises you can do to strengthen this muscle.
Work that booty: Ina May Gaskin, the “mother” of modern day midwifery and guru of all things related to natural childbirth, recommends 300 squats per day to prepare you for a fast childbirth. I didn’t have the energy for this (300 squats is a lot, y’all) but definitely made squats a regular part of my daily exercise routine. If you’ve read my birth story, my first baby shot out of me like a bullet (I went from 1 centimeter to pushing in two hours)— maybe it was Ina May’s squats! 🙂
Pre-natal yoga: Yoga was a huge help to me as I prepared for birth. It was not only a practice to strengthen and elongate my muscles, it was a form of self-care. As I took time to connect with my body and breath, I refueled from pregnancy’s toll on my body. In the third trimester it’s easy to just sit back and grow bigger and more lethargic as our body expands. Pre-natal yoga was a great way to stay active without exhausting my already-tired body. Sarah Beth yoga is one of my favorite youtube yogi’s and she has a great pre-natal series!
Lastly, a birth ball is essential for exercises you’ll want to do before birth and was a life-saver during the birth!
5. Visualize your birth
Intentionally visualizing my birth was one of the most significant things I did to prepare. Much of this I learned from the hypnobirthing method. Although I wouldn’t say I fully adopted this method as my primary strategy for birth.
What did this look like? I took 10-15 minutes to go somewhere quiet. I worked on breathing exercises that connected me to my pelvic floor. As I breathed in and out in the prescribed way, I would visualize different aspects of my birth. I would visualize what it would look like to surrender to whatever unexpected turns my birth would take, emotionally letting go of my “plan” and trusting the process and the team around me. Doing this regularly helped me connect with my body and emotionally and spiritually prepare for the uncertainty of birth as I practiced staying calm and focusing on my breathing.
6. Make affirmations
I stumbled upon the idea of writing birth affirmations at 7 months pregnant, it was a game changer for me! Birth affirmations are simple statements you write to encourage you as you visualize and prepare for birth. I copied ideas online, wrote my own, and added bible verses that I knew would bring me strength during delivery. I then printed them out on sheets of paper so my husband could hang them up around the birthing room. Some examples were: “Each wave brings my baby closer to me”, “I can do hard things”, “I will lift my eyes to the hills Where is my help? My help comes from the Lord, creator of heaven and earth”, and many more.
Writing affirmations aren’t for everyone. For me, it was a way of writing a “statement of faith” about my beliefs. I was made to birth and no matter what I would face, I would get through it.
The Hypnobirthing Place has some great ideas to get you started.
7. Clearly communicate with your partner
Being on the same page as your partner is a critical part of preparing for birth. Your partner is not only going to bear the brunt of your emotions during birth, but their proactive support is going to be integral to your success. Have open conversations about your fears, expectations, and desires then give your partner room to express theirs. Work together. You made this baby together and you’re going to bring it into the world together. Your partner isn’t just a spectator, they can be intimately a part of this incredible experience that will leave you both forever changed.
8. Listen to birth stories
This was the most important thing I did to prepare for birth. I would go for walks and listen to podcasts where women share their stories. The Birthful Podcast and The Birth Hour were some of my faves! In a judgement-free zone, women from all walks-of-life shared their ideals for birth, how they prepared, and what happened. Listening to varied experiences prepared me for uncertainty, educated me on outcomes and encouraged me I too could do it!
9. Trust Your Intuition
Before pregnancy I wouldn’t have described myself as intuitive. But as I began my journey into motherhood, I became aware of the changes within my body as it communicated it’s needs. An unexplainable craving for orange juice during my first trimester, the shocking ability to fall asleep mid-conversation with my husband, the uncomfortable swelling of my feet indicating it was time for my body to slow down for the day. All of these little clues began to teach me to listen to the needs of my body.
After my baby’s arrival, those months of tuning in to my own needs were suddenly put to use to intuit the needs of my baby I could tell when he was hungry, when he needed rest, or when he was in pain. I believe there is a latent intuition present in all of us that emerges as we become mothers. Learning to listen to it in the season of pregnancy prepares us for the journey ahead as we navigate the complexities of breastfeeding, sleep-deprivation, and the long process of postpartum recovery.
Don’t doubt you will have what it takes, you are the perfect mom for your baby!
10. Believe in Yourself
Finally, there is no greater way that you can be ready for birth than to be strong in your mind. What you believe is directly correlated to what will happen during your birth. If you go into birth afraid, unsure, and unprepared you will be more vulnerable to outcomes outside your control. However, if you go into that room armed with knowledge- “I understand how my body works and I know I was made to do this”, you will be ready for birth. If you are unified with your partner and team— “I am not alone, I am supported”, then you will be ready for birth. If you are strong in mind and body— “this is going to be my greatest moment of strength”, then you will be ready for birth.
All of this will prepare you to face the ups and downs of those hours ahead that will ultimately find you victorious, arms full of your baby, heart overflowing with a love like nothing else. It doesn’t mean you won’t be afraid. It doesn’t mean your birth will go according to your plan. It does mean that you will overcome whatever may come!
I hope you’ve found these tips helpful! If so, please leave a comment below. I don’t want to add a list of things you “should” do as you get ready to meet your baby. Each of these points simply represent my journey to prepare for birth and get ready to meet my first baby. My prayer is that you experience freedom and excitement in your own journey. Your body was perfectly designed to grow new life, bring them into the world, and nourish them. The course of your birth is unknown, the pain will undoubtedly be intense, but it will be worth it the moment you meet your baby for the first time.
Here’s a little BONUS…
After talking about birth prep for the entirety of this post, I must end with this last tip, are you ready?
Don’t forget to prepare for the FOURTH trimester!
That’s right! The fourth trimester is real! As a first-time mom we can be so focused on the birth that we don’t worry about what comes next. But the days and weeks that follow birth are critical to you feeling confident as a new mom and your baby thriving outside the womb.
Milkology has an incredible online course that covers everything you need to know about breastfeeding. I’ll admit breastfeeding was something I was very intimidated by, some moms make it sound like rocket science! But the crew at Milkology are amazing at walking you through what you can expect and educating you on troubleshooting any difficulties that could come up as you are getting started.
You can read more about my breastfeeding journey, here.
