4 Shocking Things I Learned From An Instagram Detox

I’d consider myself an average Instagram user like anyone else, I casually scroll throughout my day. Often as I’m in line at the store, watching Netflix at night, and sometimes while bored in a meeting at work. I occasionally post a picture and when I do its carefully curated with a thoughtfully written caption. Recently my feed has been filled with photos of my baby and my transition into motherhood. As I’m in this new season, I’ve thought a lot about the kind of parent I want to be. How will I discipline my children, teach them about God, and steward their hearts and minds through todays modern world? One thing that has alerted me is the impact of device usage on our children.

Devices Are Here To Stay

I feel fortunate to come from the last generation who will remember a childhood free from devices. I believe that privilege comes with a level of responsibility. My child will never know what it’s like to live uninterrupted by the notifications coming from the device that is rarely beyond his parents’ reach. Unless, that is, I live counter-culture to the status quo of life not only in America, but around the globe. Devices are here to stay and arguing their usefulness versus harm is not my goal. Instead, I want to thoughtfully look at the implications devices have had in my own life and chart an intentional way forward for myself and my children.

The average child aged 8-18 spends seven hours a day in front of screens. Its all too common to see a desperate parent throw a device in front of their screaming toddler to get them to calm down on a plane or in a restaurant. The device easily acting as an accessible “babysitter” the moment the child begins acting up. In the national moment of the Coronavirus, children are doing distance learning and device usage is at an all-time high. As a new parent, I’ve been alarmed at the impact of device usage on children. The flashy lights of games on our phones, cartoons on youtube, and even more sinister – the easy access of pornography just a click away.

The Gift Of A Device-Free Childhood

I’ve come to realize that I don’t want my child to be addicted or entertained by devices. I want to give my son the gift of a device-free childhood like I had. However, I cannot do this for my son if I am not willing to do it for myself. If I am addicted to my phone, how can I not expect the same for my son?

If we don’t want to raise children who are addicted to devices we cannot be parents who are addicted to devices.

It Was Instagram For Me, What About You?

A glance at Apple analytics, automatically recorded on my phone, and it was clear to see Instagram was the culprit. On average I spent 90-120 minutes a day scrolling through the app. Notifications from the app had me picking up my phone over 100 times per day. Not to mention, the emotional traffic that came from the carefully curated pictures and highlight reel from friends and complete strangers. These images impacted me deeply and could easily send me spiraling into self-hatred, comparison, or depression. In truth, this app had me hooked and was the gateway to the grip my device had on me.

On July 1, I got inspired and turned my notifications off, deleted the Instagram app from my phone, and began a 30-day detox of the squares that had commanded my attention for far too long, here’s what I learned:

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4 Things I learned From a 30-day Instagram Detox:

1. “FOMO” Is Real

In the first few days off Instagram I began to have a deep sense of “missing out” on my online world. My friend was having her baby and would be posting the first picture, another friend was on vacation in France and I was missing the updates. I even began asking my husband to give me updates from what he was seeing on his personal IG feed. I felt isolated from this online world that somehow made me feel connected.

In reality, my attachment to the app, and the endless bombardment of notifications that Joao_490 liked my photo had ME “missing out” on what was actually real and beautiful about my own life. I missed the opportunity for eye contact and connection with my husband at the end of a long day, a missed toothless smile from my baby boy who only has eyes for his mama, or a missed moment of solitude in prayer.

Our fear of missing out on the newest notification in our online world has us missing out on the beauty of the life we actually have.

Most of us sign up for these social apps with the intention of being better connected to our loved ones. Some of us sign up to promote a business, others to get educated on various topics; but the majority do it for connection. However good our intentions are for signing up, the impact of device usage has much different results. Digital connection has devastating consequences, making us less connected to the people right in from of us.

2. Technology Is Not Passive

There is nothing passive about Instagram. It is intentionally designed so that every time you login to the app you see something new. Instagram makes its money by keeping you on the app for as long as possible. Algorithems are scientifically designed to put photos and marketing at the top of your feed that will interest you, and keep you coming back. While passively using the app in a moment of boredom or distraction, we are actually being intentionally and aggressively targeted by people who profit off the amount of time we’re on the app. At what cost?

3. I Am Addicted

Most of us admit that we are attached to our devices, but that attachment hasn’t alarmed us enough that we consider it an addiction. Dr. Russell Belk suggests that “our smartphones have become integral to how we operate on a daily basis. They have become an extension of the self, so that separation from devices can cause anxiety, irritability, and even psychological symptoms similar to substance addiction for some.” In his book Digital Minimalism Cal Newport calls out Silicone Valley when he says “The tycoons of social media have to stop pretending that they’re friendly nerd gods building a better world and admit they’re just tobacco farmers in T-shirts selling an addictive product to children. Because, let’s face it, checking your “likes” is the new smoking.”

4. I Am Distracted and Bored

When did boredom become such a bad thing? Throughout my childhood, I have many memories of rainy days indoors, mom turning off the TV and telling us to go play. Hours were spent in the bathroom pulling out the various shampoo, soap, and miscellaneous bottles from under the bathroom sink. I would create a village of bottles, playing pretend with the citizens as they went about their lives. It was memorable and creative, spurred on by boredom that unlocked a deeper place of imaginative play within myself.

Do we let our children reach these places where creativity is unlocked? Do we give in too quickly to their appeals for a quick fix of entertainment, a chance to be “social” with their friends on Fortnight, or a mindless game on the iPad. Perhaps as parents, its time we let our kids get a little bored. Maybe we need to get bored too?

Time To Wake Up

If you’re like me and have been passively using certain social apps too much, consider a time out. Step away for a week, or even a month.
Analyze the impact of device usage on your mental health, sleep patterns, family dynamics and more. You might be surprised to see the results. We can’t treat a disease unless we first know we are sick. Get curious about your technology habits and how they’re affecting you and your kids.

Educate yourself on the impact of device usage and how it negatively impacts our lives and our families. Arm yourself with real facts that will help you navigate setting new boundaries around technology. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. The below resources have been incredibly helpful to me and I highly recommend them as a starting point.